The Name-Dropping Name Thief

I know, I know, but I’ve been suffering Post New York Malaise.

I thought getting back to my English class this month would cheer me up. Unfortunately we have a new student this year who is so irritating he makes Alan, the Freudian-obsessed king of all things inappropriate, look like a charming dinner companion.

I don’t know why he’s doing an English class since he already knows EVERYTHING. Not that we have to take his word for it. In our first class he delighted us by quoting Nietzsche (I had to look up how to spell Nietzsche), Marx, Zhou Enlai, and Dostoyevsky among many (many) others, filled us in on the history of ancient Greece, spat on 'chick lit', informed us that post modernism doesn’t exist, and told us about his absolute fav book ever, Ulysses.

Actually, I do know why he's doing an English class. It's because he's run out of people who'll listen to him. Get a blog, buddy, like the rest of us!

The tutor, in between looking scared, actually had to ask him to wait a minute and let her finish her sentence at one point.

There’s nothing like an over-read name dropper to make you feel utterly inadequate. And somewhat murderous.

But the absolute worst thing about him is…he has the SAME NAME as Babes! Not ‘Babes’, obviously, but Babes’ other, less well known name. He doesn’t DESERVE Babes’ name! I hate him for having Babes’ name!

Perhaps that’s irrational. Perhaps it’s unfair. But, as Confucius once said, “You can stick it up your Dostoyevsky.”