The Unemployed Reader

Yesterday there was snow and I mentally curled into a ball and wished for death, but today the sun is out and I am ready to forgive the universe. Summer will come. That is my mantra.

This summer there’s a fair chance I will be unemployed. How is that possible, I hear you cry. Who wouldn’t want me? But the government in its infinite stupidity has decided that reading is less important than things like speed cameras and buying themselves extortionate lunches and, as a result, a whole bunch of libraries will be closing. Staff will be moved, staff will be axed. As a relative newbie, and temporary worker, I imagine I will find myself in the latter category.

Luckily my wages are so pathetically negligible we won’t miss them. We’ll just have to cut down on buying salt or stamps or something. But all is not lost; I still have my other job, though it only exists in school term time.

Which brings me back to the summer! A summer that, for me, may be deliciously devoid of work! And, while obviously feeling horribly guilty for not only failing to bring home the bacon*, but probably burning the bacon Babes brings home, I am determined to make the most of it.

I’m always moaning I haven’t enough time to read, so I’m considering setting myself the challenge of reading a book a day in the summer. 60 books in 60 days should put a bite in my TBR pile (not a huge bite, mind you).

This is a significant challenge for me because I am a slooooow reader. I like to think this is because I care about and enjoy reading. I don’t just read a book. I examine the cover and the blurb and the dedications before I start. I re-read and memorize sentences I like, and think about why I like them. I try to guess what’s going to happen. I stop and close my eyes for 10 minutes every now and then and put myself in the character’s place, trying to imagine exactly what they’re feeling. I make a lot of toast. If it’s a real page turner I force myself to slow down, just to make it last.

By contrast, I am not in the slightest bit interested in food, and I generally eat at the speed of light, usually watching telly and not noticing what I’m eating, so I can get back to my book as soon as possible. Come to think of it, a lot of my income goes on Rennies.

But I linger over books. I luxuriate in them. And a book a day is going to be tough. But I can’t allow myself to keep buying them if I can’t keep up with the reading. So no, Babes, despite appearances I will not be lazing about the garden like a waster reading books and enjoying myself, I will be engaged in a task of epic proportions, involving military-like self discipline and the working hours of a med student. And if I burn the damn bacon I don’t want to hear about it!

* - Fake bacon, we're veggie.