Valentine's Day is what keeps therapists in business. If it didn't already exist, psychologists would've had to invent it. Think back to all the Valentine's Days you've ever experienced and answer the following questions.
Have you ever:
Sent a card but not got one in return?
Been absolutely convinced someone was going to send you a card? And then they didn't.
Got a card that turned out to be a joke?
Got a card that turned out to be for your sister? Or neighbour. Or mother.
Gone out with a guy who got 3 Valentine's Day cards, and one of them wasn't from you?
Got a card from someone who was so shy he put your friend's name on there too, so it's like a joint Valentine's Day card? And actually, now you think about it, you're not sure if he was just shy or trying to hint at something.
Got a card from someone who later turned out to be gay?
Got dumped on Valentines Day?
Got stuck with going out with someone you hadn't the heart to dump on Valentine's Day?
Sent a really romantic card to someone who sent you one with naked cartoon people making jokes about vegetables on the front?
Gone dutch on Valentine's Day?
Got a really nice card and then spent the rest of the day consoling your single best friend, who you accidentally made suicidal by bragging about it?
Knew you were only with this guy cos it's Valentine's Day and you couldn't bear to be alone?
Said, “I don't believe in Valentine's Day, it's just an excuse for commercialism,” and then gone home and cried?
Lied to your mates about getting a card?
Lied to your mates about having a date?
Had a really really great boyfriend and forgot to buy him a card, and then he got you a huge card and a teddy and a great present?
How many yeses did you get? I got 8. And that's why Valentine's Day should be banned under the Mental Health Act. I'm starting a petition.
this made me laugh! My count is 4 :)
ReplyDeleteMy count is 5 1/2...I didnt get dumped on V-day, but once I kinda dumped a guy on V-Day.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a bitch; he just wouldnt put in enough money to cover our portion of dinner and tip, resulting in his friends picking up more than they should have. After that, I was done.
Cyndi, that is shocking a shocking breach of V-Day etiquette and you had every right to dump the loser.
ReplyDeleteDid you know meanness is like a cardinal sin in Ireland. Just slightly above wife-beating. It's like an unwritten law or something. He wouldn't get away with that here.